There is Nothing Like a Dream to Create the Future
by ahandfulloflube
Summary: Grantaire is an artist in all ways; music, art, poetry and life. In his struggle with the daily problems, he's always finding help and strength in friends or family. It is set in nowadays Paris.
1. Keeping watch in the night

"You know I hate when you're doing this", a voice called from behind Grantaire's back.

"I didn't expect you to come", the young man answered and took another deep breath from his cigarette.

"I would not dare to miss any of your nights."

"Now don't get all sentimental", he took another breath and snipped the still glowing rest to the ground, "It doesn't fit you."

The head of dark curls turned up again, eyes to the front, watching the waves in the river.

It was full moon and so the water was practically sparkling at each motion. Although Grantaire enjoyed this kind of magical spectacle, he's always preferred the stars.

The moon, he thought, was way too unfaithful. One night it would be there and the next one it was away again.

The stars instead were always there. They'd know their place up in the skies, which the boy envied them of.

He didn't know anything about his origin or belonging. But one thing Grantaire was sure about was: The stars would guide, watch over and protect him. He never believed in anything but the thought of these small light balls in the darkness being his friends, siblings, parents (alive or not) and always being there in lonely nights was great help to survive through even the worst times.

Some people say this was hard to understand, telling him to stop these foolish visions. Once you're dead, you are. There is no such thing like souls or ghosts.

But honestly, this didn't bother Grantaire. Let them call him crazy or weird; it was his believe and no one could destroy this last spark of hope in him.

"You've never been great help to choose something that fit me best", said the blonde man, now stepping next to him and pulling the smaller one back to reality.

"Everything fits you, that's the problem."

"Why do you have to be such a lying, exaggerating charmer the whole time?" the taller boy turned to him smirking but Grantaire didn't move a bit.

"Because you're worth the truth.", was his only reply but with such an unemotional and frustrating undertone, everyone else would have turned away.

"What? You didn't listen carefully to me. I just said that you're a-"

"Why are you here?" Grantaire interrupted him with the same cold voice like before.

"I told you. I've always been at your shows and I will continue to do so", the blonde said, halfway smiling.

"You shouldn't."

"There are so many things I shouldn't have done or shouldn't do", answered the man shrugging.

"Doesn't mean you have to continue, though."

Finally the taller, slightly older guy cupped Grantaire's face with both hands, turning it to his own and said: "Doesn't mean you can't forgive me, though."

Grey-blue eyes met a pair of turquoise but tear-filled ones.

The boys only stood there, looking at each other for several seconds.

"I already did", Grantaire almost whispered and earned a warm smile from Enjolras in return.


	2. All it takes is money in your hand

Grantaire was woken up by the feeling of something wet in his face.

It was a familiar feeling, though, as he experienced this every morning. So, he reached out for the fluffy white fur of the pup licking over his cheek and stroked it. It was as soft as usual and since there was no better alarm clock someone could imagine, Grantaire couldn't complain at all.

Although it would have been even nicer if this dog was no dog but Enjolras. Clearly, this man wouldn't lick over his cheek but awaken him by the warm feeling of lips gently being pushed onto each other. Grantaire had to admit that _that _would have been by far the best alarm clock someone could imagine.

He finally opened his eyes with a disappointed sigh but nevertheless smiled at the white dog half-lying on his chest. The pup gave up licking once the boy was obviously awake and only looked at him now.

"You're hungry, aren't you?" asked Grantaire while caressing his four-legged friend's head. "Must have been awful last night. Sorry for leaving you all alone for so long. I'll make that good again with some extra attention today."

To keep his promise, the yawning mess of curls got up and shuffled towards the kitchen. While walking out of the room, he noticed the sunlight trying to get through the curtains. No doubt, sun is nice; but for Grantaire it could start to get colder again. He enjoyed spending a sunny day outside, of course, but as there was a whole season of this weather now, it was time for a change again.

The heat was unbearable this summer and even spring was more like June or July with its temperatures. There was barely rain the past months and no one could go outside without complaining about how warm it was. There were only few people who constantly adored the weather and wanted it to stay or be even hotter.

Either these persons were men or pool people. Last ones because they'd be off to the pool more often and could finally use it intensively (like G's neighbours with their new-build one), earn money with public pools or could simply show off their newest swim fashion. Which leads to the men.

Grantaire once overheard a conversation while he was in the pub he's working at every now and then: "If it was even hotter, maybe they'd take off all their clothes at last. I've just seen 3 or 5 girls with short skirts, only bikini tops and of course nice body walking down the street some days ago. There was this festival near the city, you know, they just wanted to visit Paris shortly and god bless I met them. I will never forget this hair, these asses or boobs. Gosh, if they'd had taken off everything and went to my bed for once…"

He didn't hear more of that talk because he had to leave for his next song but it was enough already. Even if Grantaire was into any woman, he would treat them respectfully and not like an object or a sex fantasy. It nauseated him that men would think like that, especially when it's late and they drunk some glasses. Of course he did so as well, as every 20-year-old does every now and then; but still he would never get such disgusting and weird thoughts about anyone.

Though his admiration indeed was for a man, there was one important woman in his life as well. Probably she was the most important one, right after his love and definitely before anyone else.

Her name was Éponine and they've already known each other since they were children. They used to go to school together and didn't part until she headed off for university. Of course they still call or meet every now and then but there isn't so much time as the schedule is really strict. And if they call, it's mainly about how busy she is and how much stuff she still has to do, what classes she had the last weeks and what odd stories had happened.

As this was mainly a one-sided conversation, Grantaire always had some time to do something meanwhile. He did listen to her and he was interested in what she was doing but sometimes his thoughts would simply fly away to another place. If he was in the mood to, he'd even draw or sketch while listening. He'd imagine how Éponine would be sitting in her room, on the bed; around her lots of books, papers, pencils, folders, a laptop and whatever else you needed to study; and then he'd draw this picture he had in mind. And one day, when 'Ponine was back in town, he'd show her all of his art and hopefully was right.

The young man didn't study as he couldn't afford the fee. There were no parents or relatives he could ask, so he earned his own money to maybe be able to leave for university as well. It was no instant wish to do that, as it seemed an awful thing to do, but it gave you more opportunity for jobs, of course. Nearly every well-paid job in this city was required a year-long study time before actual work. Grantaire clearly had no money and also no ambition to do that. He had his kind of job which took him outside, through the city and made him happy anyway.

As long as he could pay the rent, food and clothes there was nothing other material he'd need to be satisfied. To top it all of, he had his friends which supported his good choice of life once more.

Some quiet but sharp bark appeared from behind the boy's back as he poured the food into the bowl on the ground.

"Shh, I'm already away", he said smiling and stepping aside to let the dog pass.

He watched him for some time, then turning to the counter to make his own breakfast; a glass of orange juice and some piece of bread. It wasn't a problem of money, more of hunger.

Truth to be told, his stomach kind of adapted to the time he indeed couldn't afford to have much for breakfast. When he moved to the city centre with Enjolras, they had a lack of money. There wasn't much on the table or in the flat at all. Only a bed, two chairs, a table and the standard flat furniture, kitchen and bathroom. At this time the dog wasn't there; luckily because nothing is worse than a small puppy whimpering all day. It already broke the boy's heart when Frost (the dog's name because of his fur and the month they got him) whined only for a second.

But now that they kind of had stable incomes or at least more money than before, their situation got better and the flat got more furniture, too.

Thinking of that, Grantaire looked to the kitchen clock at the wall; 8:37 am.

Enjolras of course left for work already, as it was 2 hours away from where they lived. When he had to start at 9, he'd leave around 7 all quietly and carefully, not to wake up anyone nearby. It was a wonder he always managed that; no one ever noticed him leaving; neither the dog, nor the young man lying next, usually clinging, to him.

A sad one but indeed a wonder.


	3. Can people really fall in love so fast?

"Of course I told her the right answer. It would have been awfully unfair of me to just ignore her desperate face along her endless stuttering", Éponine finished her story and took a sip from her cup of tea.

This time they didn't phone but meet in a small, cozy café in some alley.

She'd changed a lot.

On the outside at least; her hair was longer and some nuances darker, but still some strands of light brown remained. Her clothes were still the same old t-shirts and pair of jeans in which Grantaire's seen her the last time.

Though they already had some small holes and not erasable stains she wore them off.

And it didn't matter, as long as she felt comfortable, the boy thought by himself.

Probably she didn't have much time to dress up fashionable and style herself like other girls her age because of studying.

But there was no doubt, she wasn't beautiful, though.

All that mattered was her way of thinking, her way to talk and act.

The characteristics of a human being are more important than any stylish coat, any new nail polish or any trendy bag.

Luckily Éponine thought the same and so they hit it off right from the beginning.

She only appeared natural and nice to Grantaire through her fascinating way to tell stories.

He loved listening to her, although her stories repeated every now and then. It was mainly about the girl she was sitting next to in one of her classes.

Either she didn't know the answer (like the story today) or she said something so stupid the class burst into laughter.

"I'll get me another cup of tea. Do you want something, too?" she asked and stood up from her chair.

"No", Grantaire replied with a smile which Ponine returned immediately.

As she walked off to the counter, he noticed she got even thinner than she's been last time. Again, it was probably because of the stressful university life.

Sometimes she simply seemed to forget to eat or don't find time to do so.

Ponine was one of these "I organize my day"-persons, with "To Do Lists" and such stuff. But it seems like food wasn't at top of it.

To her good marks, graduation and success always have been the most important things.

She mainly kept away from any trouble called "socializing".

The girl rather studied the whole night than attending a party. There was no one in her interest, neither in class nor at the campus nor in the city centre nor anywhere; no boy, no girl.

Except for Grantaire (or so he believed) there was no one else she was meeting, too.

She was a loner most of the time and when people wanted to start a conversation, she sent them away or told them she had no time to talk.

It was no matter of impolite behavior, rather of a good student.

Éponine wanted to be the best of what she was doing and gave everything for that.

"You forgot your change!" an unknown voice called from aside. As Grantaire turned his head, he saw it came from the cashier behind the counter.

He was waving Ponine back to give her the promised money, she thanked him and came back to sit down.

Although she obviously paid no attention to the young man, he kept on watching her.

If it was the way Grantaire was used to; checking out the advantages of the girl and lingering to fill each dirty dream with her face or body; he would have went there and shouted as long as it would have taken to turn the lusted eyes off of his best friend.

But there was a different sort of look on the green-eyed boy's face.

It was the very same way Grantaire used to glance at Enjolras when they've met for the first time. He'd fallen for him the very first second he saw him.

It's hard to describe to look but if you'd seen it once, you'd already know what it was:

The cashier had fallen for Éponine. Every time they saw again a bit more.

Or at least Grantaire imagined it to be like this, as it was his own experience.

Whenever Enjolras was in the room or close to him, G would only have eyes for the blonde.

_Enjolras was everything to him._

There was no way any circumstances could change that.

There was no way he could have _adored_ anyone more.

There was no way to take any memory of his love away from him, good or bad.

As the last thought sounded like a good-bye, Grantaire shook his head fast because there was none after all.

He and Enjolras would be together soon enough again; cuddling up on the couch while watching a movie, going out for dinner or simply watching the night once more.

There was no need to be afraid of a good-bye, at least not for a long time.

This thought calmed the boy down and even made him smile as he thought of all the time they'd finally spend together again.

No doubt, the time he spent with beloved was the best and healthiest time.

Enjolras would keep him away from wine and cigarettes as long as he was there. Of course Grantaire knew E liked him to completely keep off these drugs but there was no better way to spend the lonely nights.

Besides, it gave him better inspiration for songs, poems or drawings.

They had many arguments about this topic before but everything remained the same.

After he finally looked back to his friend, G noticed Ponine was apparently lost in thoughts, too.

Sadly she'd turned her head the wrong way. Otherwise you could think she'd enthuse as much about the tea boy as he'd enthuse about her.

But as there was this "Study before anything" rule, he had no chances at all.

Though, it seemed like he didn't give up yet.

Looking on his watch shortly and sweeping off to the back door, he returned after only some seconds with his bag.

The mid-20 man walked straight towards their table, obviously nervous and trying to figure out what to say.

He hesitated and probably noticed Grantaire only now.

He'd almost turned around again but the blue eyes gave him a supportive and securing look.

Tea boy turned around again and settled himself in front of the small table, cleared his throat and muttered a quiet "Hey"

Éponine didn't seem to notice him as she didn't react at all.

Grantaire put his hand on hers, shortly stroking over the back of it.

"There is someone who'd like to talk to you, I guess", he said and received a wince from the girl.

Confused she looked aside and up to the tall guy standing next to her.

He only returned a light smile to her glance and started again with a slightly more confident "Hello"

"Hi. Did I forget something else?" Ponine asked calmly.

"No. I actually… well… I wondered if… I mean…" the boy tried to express himself but was overwhelmed by his shyness once more.

"Yes?" she insisted, still calmly.

Scratching the back of his head and apparently being too insecure with this new situation, he kept on stuttering.

"She'd love to have dinner with you tonight. Pick her up at 6 o'clock from the university's front gate", Grantaire finally said and ended the awkward show.

The boy looked surprised at him, then back to her: "Really?"

Éponine was only as surprised as him and looked shocked at her friend.

"Well, she haven't eaten much today, just finished another exam, tomorrow is Saturday and she could also need some new contact, why not?" the friend replied smirking.

Sighing, Ponine gave in and turned back to the still nervous but way happier boy: "Pick me up where and when he told you, it'd be my honor to have dinner with you tonight."

Shaking off the last doubts and fear, the guy smiled happily and nodded.

"I'll be there" he said, almost leaving but turning back as if something struck his mind last second "I'm Combeferre, by the way."

"Éponine", the girl answered smiling; it was the first real and full-hearted smile Grantaire had seen on his friend's lips since they've met today.


	4. Hold me and Sing a Lullaby

It was already late in the afternoon as Grantaire returned from his noon walk with Frost this Sunday.

He threw the keys on the table next to the door and toed off his shoes, took off his jacket and the leash off the dog's neck as usual.

Actually everything was as usual but then he noticed something strange, something different.

The smell was different. There was something between delicious food from the kitchen and someone taking a shower in the bathroom with the best smelling shower gel-

"Boo!" it sounded behind him and he winced as a pair of hands pinched his waist shortly, followed by a little laughter he knew too well.

Smiling, G turned around, hugging the taller man tightly.

"I missed you, too, R" Enjolras answered in his embrace as he replied it

"How long have you been here already?" asked the still surprised boy in his arms, now looking up to him.

"Only 2 hours", said the blonde, gently stroking some curls out of R's face.

"'Only'? You could have called and told me that! I'd have been here much earlier and-"

"Then it wouldn't have been such a surprise, would it?" Enjolras said smirking.

"Maybe", Grantaire replied smiling, only happy about his beloved being back, being close to him again.

E returned the smile, "I cooked. Hope pasta is still your favourite food."

Instead of answering, the head of dark curls kept silent. He was still so stunned and amazed to have the handsome guy back that he couldn't say anything.

"Grantaire?"

Wincing, he was pulled back to reality: "Yes. I love it", he smiled.

Enjolras returned it and tugged the smaller boy gently into the kitchen.

There was a candle in the middle of the table, two plates opposite to each other and two glasses of red wine.

"I thought you didn't like it?"

"But I know you do", the blonde said smiling and pulled the chair back.

"When I drink, I mean", Grantaire said while sitting down.

"I'm here to control and stop you. One glass will be fine and I hate the smoking more", E answered and put the food on the plates.

R watched him, wondering how the other man managed to move so smoothly and gracefully the whole time. There was something special about him. Not just something, actually so much.

The way he talked, walked, acted, smiled, kissed,_ loved_

Everything about him was sheer perfection; both his in- and outside. The first time he'd seen these handsome grey-blue eyes, he'd fallen for them at once. They matched entirely with the rest of Enjolras' appearance.

Every time Grantaire looked at him, the whole world around him died and he got caught in the moment. There was nothing that could have pulled him out of this trance again until he'd finish it himself.

Sometimes it even took up to two or three hours till he completely snapped back to reality; mainly when he was sitting on the couch, all alone in their big apartment.

But neither a ringing telephone nor-

"You're lost in thoughts again?" the soft voice from opposite asked.

R nodded, looked at him and was once again struck by the flawless face of his love.

The candle light only supported the distinctive jaw bones and pointed out the light-coloured eyes. They appeared bluer now but still beyond anything R had ever seen before.

Enjolras studied the look on the boy's face for some seconds and smirked: "Come on, eat before it's getting cold. You can go admiring me later on as well."

Before Grantaire had a chance to answer or even approve, a fork full of pasta was held in front of his mouth. Out of reflex he opened it and received a chuckle from the other guy.

"You should look at you, it's priceless", E said and took the fork back.

"All satisfied with my view, don't worry", R replied chewing, "Gosh, you always said you couldn't cook. You pretty little liar."

"I'm still taller than you and that was one lucky moment in the history of my cooking"

"I don't believe-", he was cut off by another fork of delicious noodles being shoved into his mouth.

Smirking, Grantaire swallowed the food and picked up his wine glass: "Do you really wanna go on feeding me now?"

"If I have to, baby R", Enjolras replied laughing.

"Ugh, I don't want that nickname to last", the other boy said, although it sounded like the sweetest melody when the blonde used it.

Besides, his voice was always an angel-like one and there was no word he could say wrong or too harsh in any way.

The couple didn't fight often; they simply had too less moments for that. If there was time to spend together, it would be time well used. Either it was a dinner as this, a night in front of the TV or simple snuggling up in bed.

"And here's the next train, shoo shoo" E shove another filled fork into his mouth, once again pulling him out of thoughts.

Grantaire almost spit it out again; because of both laughing and being surprised.

"Sorry", the grey-eyed boy said, softly stroking over his boyfriend's hand.

"You'd be a great father", R replied jokingly, taking a sip from his wine to swallow the pasta properly.

"Another reason to adopt a child."

"There've already been some?"

"Reason one: they're sweet. Reason two: you wouldn't be so much alone anymore the whole time. Reason three: they're adorable. Reason four: I'd be a great father." E said smirking lightly.

"These are indeed some good arguments. But still, I have Frost. He's child enough for me."

"We still have time, it's alright."

"We have forever", Grantaire took his hand and kissed it once, leaving it again smiling.

* * *

"Are you even listening to me?" Ponine asked as she noticed silence at the other end.

"Hm? What?" Grantaire shook his head, "Sorry, what did you say?"

"Let me guess, Enjolras is around?"

"Actually he's just gone off into the bathroom to take a shower..."

"That's the same", the girls said, rolling her eyes. "And by the way, I was talking about what to wear today! I'm desperate and you don't listen to me. Thank you so much."

Éponine's never freaked out like that because of anything; the last thing she would have ranted about were clothes.

"Just wear your normal stuff, it looks pretty."

"It doesn't. These are old, lame shirt with holes and-" she shut up for a moment to identify the noise.

Enjolras had returned from the bathroom, lay the arms around the other boy's neck from behind and snuggled the face into the dark curls.

Of course, Grantaire had heard him but that didn't matter. He simply enjoyed the closeness of his lover and stroked over his hands.

Sighing, Ponine gave up on any productive help from her best friend: "Well, then I hope for you I won't _die_ because of an awkward fashion fail. Greet him from me, though and have fun today. Love you anyway, bye"

R couldn't say a "Love you, too" back fast enough as É already hung up.

He felt bad for not paying enough attention to her. Usually he'd never let her down. But as she was beautiful in any way and could wear anything, still looking good, it wasn't so bad.

Probably he'd pay her next tea and muffin as an apology. Then they'd have a fully concentrated and serious talk again.

All that struck through R's mind but as Enjolras bend a little to kiss the boy's cheek with his soft lips once, any clear thoughts were gone.


	5. The cries in the dark that nobody hears

It was half past 8 in the evening; Grantaire picked up Ponine from work.

She was working at the theatre and the best actress R had ever seen. Although he himself loved the theatre and would have loved to act, too, he wasn't jealous of her. He was better at drawing fascinating art or writing beautiful music than playing on a big stage.

Actually, he preferred watching her perform and would always applaud first after a brilliant play of her group.

On some days they'd practise together for her roles. The boy'd help to even increase her talent and he'd finally have some distraction from the loneliness. On other days the artist had written short plays or scenes himself which she'd try to act out. Sometimes they were silly, sometimes they were serious, sometimes they were not even grammatically correct and a whole mess of words.

"I'm so excited but also really nervous about opening night…" Éponine said as they walked down the street.

"You'll manage that. It's not your first play." Grantaire replied in a calm voice, shortly stroking over her underarm.

"But it's my first leading role. What if I fuck it up?"

"You won't. And if, I'll jump on stage and give an even worse performance until you got your text again. Everyone will have me in mind after leaving and will not remember your mistake."

"I'd like that idea", the girl said smirking, taking R's hand, "But still, my co-actors will be very confused and probably forget their text."

"Then it'll end in a funny improvisation. There's nothing bad about that."

"If we were good at that, yes…" she sighed and leaned on the slightly taller boy.

"Just don't think about it now. You'll be as gorgeous as every time."

"You're just saying that because you're my friend."

"I don't, I mean it. You know I'm actually not a great charmer." R said, pulling her with him around the corner of the street.

"You are. Especially when Enjolras is around, my dear boy"

"Fine, I probably am. But only at special people and I always mean it, though."

Ponine smiled and kissed his cheek: "That's why these special people love you."

Grantaire looked at her and returned the smile brightly. Before he could respond anything, É already pulled him with a "Come on!" into a faster pace.

They've been running now and only half-way down the next street, R realized why; it was raining.

"Can't we slow down a bit? We usually don't care about pouring rain as well", he asked but Éponine didn't seem to listen. She just kept on running.

"Ponine, there is no need to- Watch out!" he yelled as the traffic lights were already red.

The next events happened so fast and though, they seemed like never-ending minutes:

First there was a sound of terribly squeaking car wheels trying to stop in time on the wet road.

After only a blink, the girl was lying beneath them already.

Another blink, people stopped and came running.

Another blink, the driver got out of the car, desperately searching his phone.

Another blink, Grantaire was still frozen in his position, not able to move even the slightest muscle.

Another blink, the whole scene became a blurry mess as his eyes started to fill with tears.

Another, longer and darker blink; he found himself in the city hospital.

It was one of these normal, white, clean standard hospital rooms. There was only the bed he's been lying on, a wardrobe, a small table with three chairs around, a big shuttered window and-

Éponine.

Frowning, R sat up slowly.

"I… I thought you…" he started with a raspy voice.

"Shh" the girl replied calmly, softly pushing him back into the pillow, "you need to rest."

She stroked some curls off his forehead and smiled warmly.

Grantaire looked into her dark-brown eyes, trying to find an answer for this.

It was her who was hit by a car, wasn't it?

He had seen it; he had been there.

Or was it only a _dream_?

"I'm happy you're fine…" he finally said, taking her hand weakly.

Ponine smiled even more, squeezing the cold hand gently: "I'm happy you are."

Still confused but lightly smiling, R's eyes fell close again.

_Maybe I've only dreamed…_

Waking up some moments later, he found himself in another surrounding again. The walls of the room had gone, now replaced by nothing but a light-blue sky. The ground was the greenest grass, like in some drawn picture of the perfect meadow. As he looked down, he found his normal clothes on himself again and the former weakness was gone, too.

It was nicely warm, though a slight breezing was blowing every now and then.

Grantaire stood up, looked around for a moment and tried to figure out where to go to. There was indeed something magical in this place; something that made him want to stay here longer. But there was also something very disquieting; something dark and odd.

The boy walked for a time and although it was nice that the nature was unharmed, was there at its fullest beauty, it was strange. Not another soul was there, not even trees or plants; only meadow and the sky. It gave him the feeling of being all alone. Although this was nice every now and then, he enjoyed the company of people; especially his loved ones. Something was wrong that couldn't be covered by the perfect scenery.

Then, after another while, R spotted the odd thing:

A huge tree, full of pink cherry blossoms, caught his eye. Right next to it was a grey… something. Grantaire couldn't figure out what it was until he stepped closer towards it.

It was a stone; a tombstone.

The confused young man kneed down to read its writing and immediately regretted this decision afterwards. Both shocked and upset, R fell back on his feet and just stared at the letters; _Éponine Thénardier_.

It was a dream! _I_ was in hospital. She was fine!

Now Grantaire remembered; this was a dream. The surrounding already had been surreal, too beautiful. But now as he raised the head again, he realized it wasn't anymore.

Now it was a dark, scary scene that surrounded him. The tree was still there but the blossoms gone, the once so green meadow was dry or even fully replaced by mud, the sky turned into a deep blue, almost black.

_What happened?_

Was it all just in his imagination?

Was there some bad horror movie he recalled where creepy graveyards are current?

Was Éponine, his best friend, really dead?

He didn't even want to think about the last question.

Tears streamed down his face and he buried the face in his hands as if this'd make anything better. The boy only wanted to hide from everything. There was such confusion in his head, such pain; and no way to escape it.

If only he'd died instead of her…

Grantaire woke up with a wince, sitting up straight in his bed at once. Breathing harder, he looked around and sighed relieved as all of this only seemed to be a bad nightmare.

_Or wasn't it?_

Desperately he searched for his phone, found it at last and called Ponine with constantly shaking hands.

What if it was true?

What if no one would answer the phone?

All kind of worst-case thoughts ran through his head. And indeed no one took the call.

Panic arose inside of the boy. His heart was beating faster; his hands were shaking even more as he jumped up and hurried out of the bedroom; meanwhile he tried to call her again.

Éponine and him already knew since they were children; almost 15 years constantly together.

Clearly there wasn't anything worse than losing this person you've got so familiar, so close with. They'd shared every secret. They'd cried, laughed, fought.

And now it was all over?

Ponine was his closest relationship and without her, his life simply had no meaning.

If there wasn't Enjolras whom he'd still have to live for, it was definitely R's death as well now.

Grantaire already put on his shoes as suddenly a tired, quiet voice interrupted his thoughts.

"R, it's 4 am… what is it…" É sounded from the other end.

A feeling of relief went through the boy as he heard the familiar melody of speaking.

"I just wanted to tell you that I would and could never live without you. I love you Ponine, please see yourself safe."

"That's so sweet… I love you, too… but please, please… choose another time next time, okay?"

"Promised. Sleep well, night." he hung up, taking off his shoes again and making his way back into the bedroom.

Though he now knew his best friend was still at his side and would be for a longer time, R couldn't find sleep anymore that night.

The feeling of being all alone in the cold bed made him feel even more lonely than usual.


End file.
